What to do?
by LauraMGA
Summary: Based on the abc promo for 5x21. Authors note: This is the first FanFiction I ever wrote and I should also mention that english isn't my native language so sorry if this is the worst thing you ever read xD


The day was finally over...

It was a long exhausting day. The sessions with Dr. Wyatt, the crazy thing with the little girl and avoiding Cristina...

But now it was over and he could finally get home trying to get some sleep that wouldn't appease him anyway because of all the thoughts in his head and the nightmares.

He's just walking out of the hospital when he hears her voice.

"Owen..." Cristina almost shouts behind him.

He stands still but doesn't know if he wants to turn around, seeing her face again like yesterday in the elevator. And he thought she would be glad about that he's avoiding her why would she want to to talk to him?

Earlier that day:

"I won't do relationship talk with you so stop it!" Cristina says nerved while she's taking a blood sample from Izzie.

"Oh come on I'm so bored and my break from the wedding planning won't be over for another hour... you wanted me to do that so at least entertain me while it!" Izzie commands.

Cristina rolls her eyes "We can talk about something else... like the girl that shot her Dad I'm worried Mer gets a little too involved with that we should talk with her about that when she gets here"

"Okay whatever let's do this but for now... why can't you just tell me how this date with Hunt was? Did you take my advices? Why don't you wanna talk about it? Was it that bad? Or maybe that good?" Izzie keeps asking.

Cristina sighs and sits on the edge of Izzie's bed. She won't stop teasing until she tells her something so why even try to avoid her? And she's better in relationship stuff than Mer... maybe she could really give her an advice how to deal with this...

"It was that bad" she finally replies looking on the floor.

Izzie's smile is breaking "Oh. I'm sorry about that... what happened?"

"He went dressed into my shower" she answered with a hint of a smile because she knew how weird this must have sounded.

"I'm sorry... what?" Izzie asks obviously confused.

"He showed up drunk and I told him to take a shower cause he smelled distillery and well then he went into my bathroom and called me in later while standing in my shower fully clothed talking about his best surgery ever which I asked him about earlier that day thanks to you..." she nods to Izzie.

"It was a quite horrible story... I can only imagine how bad it must have been over there" she says while her mind is drifting a little away.

"Wow. That's quite a story you can tell your grandchildren one time" Izzie jokes to try to cheer her friend up a little.

Cristina gives her a look but smiles a little.

"That's too bad I really thought you two could make a good couple that's a stupid way to end things" she says sad.

"Actually..." she starts "that wasn't really the end" she says slowly while she takes a chair closer to the bed and sits on it.

"You gave him a second chance? After that?" Izzie asks confused thinking if that's really Cristina she's talking to right now.

"Yeah cause... I don't know why... I just wanted it to work" she shakes her head.

A big smile is building up on Izzie's face. "You really like him a lot, don't you?"

Cristina looks up. What the hell did she say that she could know realize that?

"Uhm I... I just... he is... it is so..." she stutters knowing now that she couldn't avoid in front of her that she has strong feelings for him anymore.

"Okay got it" Izzie grins "So how are things going between you two now?"

"Well... we broke up a few days ago... remember the day I was wearing a turtle neck?"

Izzie nods sad and surprised.

"I spend the night before with him watching surgeries and no" she says when she sees Izzie smirking "we didn't do anything like what you think right now we just slept next to each other"

She takes a big breath "He had a nightmare and he chocked me... but he was asleep he didn't do it on purpose I know that he would never ever do that knowingly" she adds fast.

Izzie looks shocked "Cristina... I can see you have strong feelings for him but you shouldn't..."

"Stop!" she interrupts her "I had that conversation with Mer already and believe me... I KNOW he's not that kinda man!" she says almost desperate.

"Anyway..." she takes a big breath again "After your surgery I went to see him and found him in an on call room and we... well" Cristina rolls her eyes. She never thought she would ever talk with Izzie Stevens about her sex life.

"You know..." she shakes her head a little and rolls her eyes.

Izzie smiles a little but can't be too happy about it since she knows this story won't have an happy end...

Cristina looks at the floor again looking like she almost has to cry.

"I couldn't... I couldn't fall asleep next to him" she looks up "I mean I... I trust him... but I don't trust his PTSD. I was afraid it could happen again. So I told him I'm sorry. And then I broke up with him... Mer told me she saw him going to the 5th floor often in the last time..." she pauses.

"That's good..." Izzie starts after Cristina doesn't continue "He's getting help. After that you two could..."

Cristina interrupts her with a laugh "Yeah right... after I let him go through all this all alone we will be a happy couple" she says sarcastically trying not to tear up.

"You can't help him with this... and it's dangerous and after what you told me about him I think the last thing he wants is to bring you in danger" Izzie say softly while stroking Cristina's arm for a moment.

"I feel weak... I told him the whole time I could handle it and then I just leave him" her voice is getting numb.

"Cristina... you don't have to be strong all the time. Of course you are scared he strangled you so bad that it left marks. And you don't have to let him do this alone. I'm sure you can find a way to help him" Izzie says quietly.

"I can't be around him... I can't be with him but not be with him. That would be so weird and awkward" she says.

Izzie laughs "That's your reason? Because it would be awkward? What's wrong with you?" she rants.

Cristina looks shocked. Yeah that is her reason. What is wrong with that? Is it so bad that she just wants to have a normal relationship with him?

"You just said you don't want him to go through this alone and the only reason you don't do that is because it's awkward and not easy?!" she sits up "Sometimes it's hard. Imagine how he feels for him it's even more awkward cause not you are the weak one he is! He is the one who's sick and avoids you because he doesn't want to hurt you! Because he doesn't want his problems to be your problems but at the same time you feel guilty because you walked out of his life. It doesn't mean you have to sleep in one bed together... you can just spend your lunch break together or get a drink at Joe's after work. It will be awkward at first but you want to be around each other that's all that matters. And when he is ready then you won't have to feel guilty wanting a relationship with him again because you were also there before" Izzie stops because she's getting a little breathless and has to take a breath out of her oxygen mask.

Cristina slightly pushes her down thinking about her words. She's right. It would be stupid now but in the end it would be worth it.

They can hear the door opening. Meredith walks in.

"You won't believe what the Chief just did" she says takes a chair and sits down next to Cristina.

-------------------

When he doesn't turn around she decides to speak.

"I... I wondered if you maybe wanna grab a drink at Joe's" she says

insecure.

Owen still doesn't make a move. So that's what she wants to do. But he won't do this to her. He won't burden this on her.

He keeps walking.

Cristina can't believe he's really doing this. She's trying here her best to make this work and he just walks away? No he won't get away that easy.

She shoves him harshly.

He turns around with a surprised look on his face.

"What are you...?" he says with a tried voice before she cuts him off.

"I love you" she blurts out and makes a break to see his reaction before she continues "And I feel ashamed for not being strong enough to help you with this so please let me be around you at least" she says and almost starts sobbing.

Neither of them breaks the eye contact.

"You don't have to..." he starts but she cuts him off again "Yes I do have to!" she says with a strong voice.

His face softens. "I love you too" he says and nods softly.

She smiles "Then the least thing you can do is grabbing a drink with me" she says and starts laughing softly.

He looks down she slowly goes over to him. They look at each other smiling for a moment before they keep walking next to each other to Joe's.


End file.
